Whenever June comes around it’s a reminder of a significant shift that happened in my life. You know the kind, when something happens on a specific day that you don’t necessarily celebrate with friends and family but can’t seem to forget. It’s personal but meaningful for me because it marks a time for new beginnings, and to celebrate growth, change and transformation. As well as all of what it takes to move through the stuff, and get to a point where listening to my heart is essential. Yes I said ‘what it takes’ because it’s ongoing and as much as I may try, I won’t stay the same.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? You know this question, the one asked during a job interview. This question usually left me feeling uneasy, insecure and uncomfortable. I didn’t know why and didn’t care to figure it out, until recently when I took time to look back at the past 5 years and how much things have changed and how much I’ve changed. It’s wild when you face discomfort and come out of it knowing yourself more deeply. It sounds intense and sometimes it is, but it wasn’t when it came to digging deeper into why I felt so uncomfortable with being asked where I see myself in 5 years.
It wasn’t a long drawn out process, I didn’t journal about it or do anything extravagant to come to the conclusion that I felt discomfort because of how limited the question made me feel. I uncovered it during an honest and vulnerable conversation I had with an old friend. We talked for over three hours about so many things, without judgment or expectation. Instead, we gave one another support, understanding and our time. I admitted that despite my best efforts, some things just haven’t gone as planned but unfolded as it was meant to. The good and bad, the exciting and devastating, the healing and the painful – all of which brought me closer to who I’m meant to be.
You see, I love to do many different things, I’m curious by nature and I love to learn. All of which made me feel pressured to view my future as narrow and limited when asked that question. Although I regularly set personal and professional goals, I felt (pre-five years ago) compelled to stay in the same industry and job because that’s what I knew and what I had experience with. There’s nothing wrong with that but I knew there was something more for me too. I felt pressure because of all the ‘what ifs’. It felt impossible to give an honest answer because of all of the unknown possibilities and opportunities I would create for myself, or may come my way. This is why I’d come up with an answer that fit the mold of the job I was interviewing for. It’s no big deal right? Who cares, tell them what they want to hear because the interviewer and/company probably didn’t care either. The thing is I did and do care about my future, and at the time I felt like it was in someone else’s hands. There you have it, one, somewhat insignificant question led that version of myself to feel not only limited, but powerless.
Now I know why I didn’t care to figure it out, because it was really hard to feel my way through it. I needed time to let go of the ideas, expectations and perceptions of what my professional life should be and lean towards listening to my heart. I learned about what motivates me, why I enjoy doing certain things and most importantly to accept that it’s ok to do many things. It was a process to develop a compassionate approach and mindset that integrated my professional life in a purposeful way, and felt aligned to my personal life in a healthy wholehearted way. Being multi passionate is what makes me thrive, feel aligned with who I am by nature and be a better person.
What have you learned about yourself in the past 5 years? Maybe this is the question to ask ourselves when we’re going for a new job (hopefully one that lights us up), or when setting goals, or whenever we need to. Create a list filled with all of our accomplishments and lessons in every area of our life. The kind of list that celebrates ourselves and the person we’ve become. Including the messy, big and small, fabulous, fun stuff – all the stuff! You never know, it may be that we need to unlearn what was never ours, to listen to our heart, to get to know ourselves more deeply, and to create an unlimited and fulfilling life.
Remember, sometimes looking back can lead you to where you want to go.
xo Nicki
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